What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
