what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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