just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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