We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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