Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
