Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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