i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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