We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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