fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
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