In the future we'll all be gay
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Randomize
