I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
