God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
