seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Randomize
