you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
