69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
well you can't waste a boner
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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