you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
