I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
