Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
