Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize