i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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