...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
