you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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