i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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