Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
