Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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