If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize