Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize