Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
