are you still at the devil's house?
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
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