after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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