If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
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Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days