You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her