What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Come see our sink grown plant.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
