"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
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no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
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I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away