if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize