I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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