About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
My breasts were aching with rage.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.