Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis