Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
he thought i was a dude.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.