how can u be prego again
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"