you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.