i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
so that wasnt chicken after all
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas