Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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