We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
