Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
