and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
