This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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