your room smells of hookers.
And success
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
