You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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