Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Randomize
