super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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