he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize