Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
