Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
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