remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
