I got chris browned last night
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
You need a sexual gate keeper
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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