Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
