He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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