so explain again why im purple
no
True but thats because hes a fetus.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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