My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Randomize