I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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