So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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