You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
