Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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