i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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