It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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