I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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