Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
