i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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