one two three fourrrrnication!
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
