just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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